Justin®徐旭隆

Never be erased ♥

Vocab

Taufik Hidayat, the best Indonesian badminton player for single event in the Thomas Cup, responded interestingly to the Chinese press by saying “bullshit” when he’s being asked about the issue of faking his injury intentionally to deceive the Chinese badminton team. I was quite thrilled when I saw this news because finally, someone has agreed with me that bullshit is quite a good word to use. Some religious friends would take it as swearing and strongly believe that people who use that word frequently will have higher probability to go to hell. In that case, I’ll have approximately 50% of chance to go to hell as I often eliminate the first half of the word to make it sound nicer. 50% is not that bad, is it? Bullshit is an easy word 2 use. In Malaysia, it’s nearly impossible for u to use the word wrongly, considering your English language level is below the average like me. It can be applied in your daily life, work, sports and even when you’re watching George W. Bush speaking on tv, or when you’re reading my blog. If someone tells me Sarawak laksa is worse than Penang asam laksa, I’ll express this meaningful word to them straight to their faces. Now, let’s look at the word in detail.

Bullshit / noun : impolite something someone says that is stupid or not true.
Bullshit / verb : impolite to tell someone something that is stupid or not true.
(Due to computer illiteracy, I had a hard time searching for the symbols for the word’s pronunciation. So I decided to omit that part.)

As u can see, bullshit can be both a noun or a verb, which makes it extremely flexible. However, it’s considered offensive due to the word impolite. But who cares whether it’s impolite or not if it’s such user-friendly?

When someone tells me Sarawak laksa is worse than Penang laksa, there are several possible responses. This is how our Minister Taib Mahmud might respond :
1. BULLSHIT! 2. What bullshit are you talking about? 3. Don’t give me that bullshit. 4. You think our laksa is bullshit? Don’t bullshit me!

However, Ah Beng has his own unique way of responding. The definition of Ah Beng is very vague. It largely depends on how ah-beng a person who’s trying to define it. At my level, these are some general rules for Ah Beng :
1. you love wearing body-hugging shirt with top 2-3 buttons open.
2. you love techno music (Vengaboyz, Aqua etc).
3. you drive a car with windows down while playing Vengaboyz songs as loud as your amplifier allows not knowing that your tympanic membrane @ ear drum cannot last long but hoping that the car next to you can hear the music.
4. you use a huge exhaust for you small perodua kancil, accelerating with loud noise but moving at a Honda 70cc motorbike speed.
5. you have a cigarette in your mouth all the time – 70% of the time the cigarette is not lighted.
(mind u, I generally classify Ah Beng and Ah Lian as “Ah Beng”. When I mention Ah Beng, it refers to both gender)
If you score a minimum of 3 our of 5, you are a genuine Ah Beng. Don’t misunderstand. Being ah-beng is not a bad thing. You can live your live happily too.
As I said, Ah Beng’s response is more unique :
1. You no bullshit lym-beh ah! 2. You talk bullshit ah? 3. F#@* #$ F(@$% *%$ bullshit $@% F%&^$& !!!

Amazingly, there is a name for someone who bullshits a lot too.
eg. Don’t listen to George W. Bush. That idiot is a bullshitter.
The message is made crystal clear just by applying a simple noun. However, the severity of this word is very subjective. It depends on how much you hate Bush.

I hope this is a great lesson for all of you who read it. If you think this is all bullshit, call me a bullshitter and rank the severity from 1-10 (1 being the least severe). Enjoy the Thomas Cup quarterfinal tomorrow - Malaysia vs Korea at 4pm.

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